Laughs!!!

I must admit!!! I have my bad days sometimes but sometimes I wake up to things like this and I laugh and I laugh and I laugh some more!! 

I laugh until I cry!!!

Happy tears that is!!

I thank God for putting characters like this woman here in my life (not that I actually know her) hahahaha because she makes waking up sooooooo much easier!!!

Situations

I was having a conversation with my best friend yesterday, about what exactly makes us happy? Why is it that a person can't give us happiness and why is that so bad. I'm not naive and I can see the pros and cons of the situation, but there are pros and cons to everything in life. I wouldn't say that my world revolved around this one person but I can say that he brought me happiness. Which in any relationship is good because why wouldn't you want to be with someone who brings you sorrow. This relationship did not consume me but it was a piece of me that is now missing and it hurts. You take things day by day and hope things get better but the process really sucks. But thats life... i see...

What is Fair

Sometimes I fault myself for things that occur in my life even when I know for a fact that that it's not because of me. I don't know why I do that but I assume it's only because I'm human...that's the excuse for everything nowadays! All I ask for is closure with some things but then I question myself and ask is closure even what I want. Will closure be the end all for my relationship. Will closure enhance my growth. Because whose to say that the closure will be positive. 

It's been hard these last two days to figure out exactly what I'm doing in life and where I'm trying to go. I was told that I worry about the future too much which is something that I have no control over and shouldn't strive to have control over. But the way I was raised has been to always plan ahead and know what's next! I think maybe I have taken that concept to literal and maybe too extreme. But I see this is something that I have found out about myself and I need to fix...there's a positive outlook on it.

My Co Co

My Co Co has been a blessing since I got him!!! Everything happens for a reason and I must say he entered my life in a very vital time. Award goes out to this guy for always needing my love and attention when I felt I couldn't give anything anymore. He wiped away so many of my sad tears and has now brought me a joy and happiness that I can't explain! He's my baby!!! You never know why God will put something in your life but when he does know that it's for a reason! I thank God for my Co Co! 

Selfish Thought

Sometimes when I start to feel down, I look at pictures of myself from just hours ago smiling and wonder why at that time I could feel so care free. I wonder why we feel, why do we have emotions, and why do they hit me at such random times. I want to feel happiness all the time but I know that will never be the case, I know that that can never be achieved, but its something that I strive for. One of my biggest flaws is me thinking that I can plan out everything in my future as if i was the one in control. It kills me that I can't accept that this is how life will be, and I cant have the answers that I desire. I seem selfish. Because for life to be what I make it then why cant I control what happens. There is no answer. Life is full of surprises right.

Summer Time is Mine!!!

I don't know why my mornings are the worse but they are... I wake up with him on my mind and I always feel the urge to either text or cry about him...but not today! I refuse to keep giving my emotions and energy to someone who doesn't care for me! I can't keep feeling sorry for myself because I know that I deserve better and I will get that within the Lord and my prayers!! Sidenote: my dog keeps pooping in the house and it's highly annoying!!! 

Three years of trusting someone, and loving someone past the level of no return is what I felt just last month. Today marks the day that I have officially accepted that my life as it once was is no longer in my future. I have cut all ties that I once shared with my beloved, and I am very proud of myself. I never thought that I would be able to see the light, but my eyes are now open and I can see; without trying to sound cliche. I hope and pray that I will be able to stay strong and not cave in to the nonsense of the hurt and pain of trying to sustain. I deserve better and I will get that. One day at a time right! One day at a time. Im ready!

You Never Know How Strong You Are...
Until Being Strong is the Only Choice You Have